At the beginning of my business, I had a sales call with a High Dominant CEO. He shared with me that on his sales team, 13 out of 16 weren’t meeting quota. I joked with him that he had too many bottom performers on his sales team because he had “nice-guy syndrome.” He glared at me and said, “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Whoops! I was just kidding around. He didn’t appreciate it.
Not sure how this sale got saved but he did become a client, we have a great relationship and we joke a lot – but on his terms!
It took me awhile to realize you never joke with a High Dominant person or try to charm them (hear that High I’s?!?) when they are in go-mode. If you do, you are likely to get leveled.
I also learned to “bottom-line” my communication, leaving out my oh-so-entertaining stories and commentary. Once I did this, my relationships with most High Dominants seemed to improve.
Turns out, every DISC behavioral style has certain needs and when we can meet these in our interactions with them, things flow better. And when we inadvertently violate what they need, things grind to a halt!
On the other hand, every DISC behavioral style also has some behaviors that may present a challenge for us when dealing with them.
So what is the best way to approach them? That is what you will find through this series of articles.
However, no matter what DISC style you’re dealing with, there are some general tips for communication that work with any person, no matter their style.
TIPS FOR COMMUNICATING WITH ANYONE
Talk it out or act it out? Your true feelings are conveyed not just through your words but your body language, facial expressions and tone of voice. Research shows that when these things are incongruent, your words only count for 7% of the message that gets conveyed.
Control thyself! With any interaction, the only person you control is yourself. So there is no sense in wasting energy on trying to change the other person (as nice as that would be). Therefore, you must take 100% responsibility when communicating with others. It is your reaction to them and the conversation that will determine the outcome – far more than the conversation itself.
Assume the best. Orient yourself to this person’s good qualities. Every DISC style has it’s strengths and weaknesses. So if you’re challenged by someone’s faults, they must have corresponding strengths.
C’mon – you can find something if you look hard enough! Find something you like and respect about this person and approach your next conversation with these qualities in mind.
Analyze the facts vs. your opinion. This is where we often get in trouble. So…separate the facts from your feelings. What did you see or hear? Anything that gets added to “observable behavior” is usually your interpretations of the facts and will be different from how other people observed the same event.
Forget the Golden Rule. One of the tenets of all major religions is a version of the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This may be a fine principle to follow with general acts of kindness, but it can be the kiss-of-death when it comes to communication. Why?
Because it’s all about YOU! Communicating with people the way you like to be communicated to works for you…not necessarily for them.
So when it comes to communicating, follow the Platinum Rule, “Do unto others as THEY would have done unto THEM.” Best way to do this? Use their DISC Style as a guide.
Over the next few articles, we will be sharing specific tips for communicating with each of the DISC styles.
