How to deal with someone who is non-emotional and hard-to-read

How To Deal With A Person Who Is…

NON-EMOTIONAL | HARD-TO-READ

The biggest challenge in recognizing the Non-Emotional type is that they are the hardest to read. They blend into the background, don’t speak up and generally keep to themselves.

Surprisingly, they happen to be people-oriented but because they are introverted, they do more listening than talking. Let’s take a look at some of their other characteristics.

Here are some traits of a Non-Emotional person:

  • Quiet
  • Friendly
  • Tactful
  • Loyal
  • Resistant to change
  • Process oriented and methodical
  • Supportive
  • Gives a false sense of compliance

Research shows that 35% of the population is Non-Emotional. This type may gravitate towards professions where they can be supportive and accommodating such as Administration and Customer Service. They will typically choose roles where they do not have to be center stage. 65% of the population is more expressive and emotional and may have challenges communicating with the Non-Emotional type.

Let’s look at some of those challenges. Because Non-Emotional don’t always express themselves, you generally don’t know where you stand with them. They might like you, they might not. Either way, you probably won’t be able to guess. They tend to be very poker-faced.

They are low-risk takers. They dislike change, preferring the status quo. This has them stay in situations when they are unhappy (relationships, jobs) too long.

If you upset them, you probably won’t know it for a long time. They tend to hold silent grudges. They like security and stability in relationships and dislike confrontation. So they won’t “rock the boat” by telling you what they really think. Only when they have been suppressing negative emotions for a long time will something finally push them over the proverbial “edge” and they will become emotional and tell you what’s on their mind.

 

Specific Tips for Communicating with the Non-Emotional Person

 

  • Don’t press them to share more than they want to. This type more than any other will clam up under pressure. You must create safety for them by being sincere and going at their pace. They are slow to trust and will share more with you over time.
  • Give them time to gather their thoughts and information before making a decision. They need to feel prepared and safe. Otherwise, they may agree with you under pressure and then back out of the commitment later on.
    Pay attention to their body language, words, and tone of voice. They may say they are “fine” but you can usually detect unspoken tension in their voice.
  • Reassure them that you care about their interests, values and family.
  • Use active listening. Repeat back to them what you think they said and ask them if you got it right because if you misunderstand – they won’t likely correct you without encouragement.

#1 Mistake Most People Make When Communicating

with a Non-Emotional Person

 

The worst thing to do with an Non-Emotional person is to get, you guessed it, emotional. Anger, or even extreme enthusiasm, can shut down the Non-Emotional person. They prefer a stable and predictable environment and extreme emotions disrupt the peace. If you are triggered or in an emotionally charged state, give yourself a few minutes to calm down before going to communicate with this type of person. Better yet, give them a heads up that your coming to talk to them so they can feel prepared.

 

BE PATIENT AND CALM!