Over the next series of articles, we share tips for communicating with the DISC styles when they are under stress and exhibiting some of their “less-than-desirable” qualities.
- High D = Dominant | Controlling | Angry
- High I = Emotional | Over-reactive
- High S = Non-Emotional | Hard-to-Read
- High C = Critical | Negative | Stern
Remember, every style has their limitations so before you point your finger at others, remember there are three fingers pointing back at you! So be sure to check out your style as well.
Let’s start with the High D:
How To Deal With A Person Who Is…
DOMINANT | CONTROLLING | ANGRY
The Dominant person is very fast paced and results-oriented. They are always going somewhere, doing something. As a matter of fact, they have a hard time relaxing and may be labeled an “A-type” personality – among other things.
Here are some characteristics of a highly Dominant person:
- Aggressive
- Forceful
- Direct
- Goal-oriented
- Impatient
- Strategic thinker
- Proactive
- Bold or blunt
Research shows that 19% of the population is Dominant. Of course, there are some types of professions (sales) and business areas (management) where the percentage may be higher. Regardless, this means that 81% of the population is non-Dominant and may have challenges communicating with this style
Let’s look at some of those challenges. Because High Dominant people move fast and think fast, they tend to be impatient and will get angry when things don’t go their way. It seems to be their anger that most people have trouble dealing with.
One time, I was in a cell phone carrier’s store and this man came charging in yelling and screaming at the customer service support person. He wasn’t angry at the person or even at me – just the poor cell reception he was getting – and yet my heart started beating rapidly as if I was the one being yelled at.
Anger is often the most difficult personality trait for others to deal with. For one, we tend to take it personally. Secondly, that interaction stays with us. There are many people who have told me that they stewed for hours after being yelled at by a High Dominant.
Specific Tips for Communicating with the Dominant Person
- Don’t take anything they say or do personally. This may sound strange – but it’s not about you. When they are angry, it is usually not personal. They are likely angry at the circumstances or not achieving results fast enough. This can be proven by how many High Dominant people are fine five minutes after a heated interaction. Wait a few minutes, and they might ask you to lunch!
- Stand up for yourself. One thing High Dominant people can’t stand is what they perceive as weakness. To gain their respect, stand up to them and push back when appropriate.
- “As-is” the conversation. This means telling the High Dominant person what it is like for you to communicate with them. Whoa…that would be pretty uncomfortable for most people. But consider what my sister-in-law did years ago with my father – a High Dominant if there ever was one. She told him once that she was afraid of him. Right to his face! He had no idea this was how he affected her. For years this has been in the back of his mind and he has toned down his communication with her. So if all else fails, tell it like it is. You’ve got nothing to lose.
#1 Mistake Most People Make When Communicating with a Dominant Person
If you remember nothing else about High Dominant people, remember they need to see RESULTS. They don’t like to waste time. So whenever you communicate with them, leave out your stories and unnecessary details. You may want to explain why the project is late but they don’t want to hear it. They just want to know when they can expect it.
As a matter of fact, give them the bottom line right at the beginning. Make your communication clear and succinct.
BE BRIGHT – BE QUICK – BE GONE!
~DISC Wizard
