Dear DISC Wizard,

You recently did training with our leadership team and I was impressed by the E+R=O formula. It made so much sense to me when I learned it and I was really excited about applying it when I got back to work. Turns out, it’s much harder than I thought. I find myself getting caught up in “stories” about people that aggravate me and then justifying the story because “I know how they are…” ~ Amy W.

Dear Amy,

First I want to commend you for embracing the Facts vs. Stories concept like you did. Not everyone is open enough to get the concept, so for that, well done!

But you have to realize that with something as life-changing as this teaching can be, it’s not enough to learn it once and then expect to reprogram 40+ years of  negative story-telling overnight.

In order to start putting this formula to work in your life, you can go a step deeper. Start to look for patterns. When you’re triggered, is there a consistent story you’re telling? Is there a common theme (laziness) or type of person (know-it-alls) who really tick you off?

Once you’ve identified a reoccurring situation, you can use the following process. If possible, go through it with another person having them ask you the questions and you answering verbally. If no partner is available, just write down your answers on a notepad.

1. What is a difficult or troubling situation in your life?

2. What is this costing you for keeping it like it is?

3. What pay-offs or benefits do you get for keeping it like it is?

(While we may initially think we hate everything about it so there is no pay-off, look a little
deeper. If there was no benefit to the way it is, you would have likely changed it by now.)

4. How do you create it or allow it to be like it is?

5. What are you pretending not to know?

6. What do you really want?

7. What actions could you take and what requests could you make to get it?

8. When will you do that?

~The DISC Wizard