Dear DISC Wizard,

“As I make a move this fall to another division, one of the difficult things is dealing with my friend and counterpart who is a high “S”. She does not like change, at all. I am moving to another division, not another country but she does not see it as such. Any tips on how to get an “S” unstuck?”

~ Janice P.

Dear Janice,

Oooh, that is a tough one. S’s can be so resistant to change – especially when it confronts something they value strongly.

The fact that she’s taking it so hard could be seen as a compliment to you. She obviously values you and the relationship. Here are some other things that might help…

*Safety & Security – S’s resist change mostly because it threatens their safety and security. As her friend and

counterpart, she likely fears losing your support.  You’re moving onto bigger and better things when, for however many plus years, you’ve had an unspoken agreement to be there for each other. Perhaps there is a way you can reassure her that you will still be there for her when she has a need?

**Loyalty – One of the greatest traits of the “S” is their loyalty. However, sometimes it’s out of fear not just a sense of integrity. So loyalty to a job, relationship or friendship looks so admirable when really it’s the “S” just staying because they are afraid to leave. If this is the case, you’re actually doing her a favor by moving on. It gives her an opportunity to expand herself. Whether she takes that opportunity or not is not your responsibility.

***New Possibilities – There might be a way to create some new experiences if she is open to it. When a good friend of mine moved to Connecticut, we committed to finding places mid-way that we both could drive to. We’ve rendezvoused in wine country, Mirbeau Spa, the Catskills, etc. So what might she be interested in that you could plan and look forward to?

And of course, all of these suggestions only work if you are as committed to maintaining this connection as she is. Hope it helps!