For years, in the Organizational Development world, we have taught from the premise that if everyone can suspend their stories and opinions and get to a set of facts that we agree upon, then we would all see the same thing and come to an agreement.
Boy have times changed!
Now we can’t even seem to agree on the facts.
“Confirmation bias” says that most of us will interpret new facts in a way that confirms our existing beliefs (as in, confirms our bias) and we will conveniently discount anything we hear that may actually refute our existing beliefs.
So I hear “evidence” and it reaffirms my beliefs. You hear the same “evidence” and you reject it (most often discredited by claiming it as an “unreliable source”) and feel more than ever that you were correct to begin with.
No wonder we were told to never discuss religion or politics at Christmas dinner.
THE BACKFIRE EFFECT
As we watch the political climate become more polarized, we see people not only disagreeing with what the actual facts are (hello fake news!) but becoming more adamant about their point of view when faced with what seems like contradictory information.
This is called the Polarization of Beliefs (or the Backfire Effect).
When we encounter facts that contradict our previously held beliefs – instead of being swayed to the other side – we become even more convinced that our pre-existing point of view is correct.
Think about that for a minute.
While people are wasting precious minutes and hours of their day posting their POV’s online, all they are doing is reinforcing the other side’s perspective.
Combine that with the fact that people can be taught to believe ANYTHING and you see that we are … screwed?!?!
So if facts aren’t enough to get someone to change their beliefs, what can?
WHY WE OVER-REACT
It’s important to understand where beliefs come from and the purpose they serve. We may be living in the digital world but our brains are still living in the primitive world.
Because of this, our brain has one mission and that is to protect us and help us survive!
That’s why our brain will sense physical danger and flood our bodies with blood and chemicals so we can FREEZE, FIGHT OR FLEE.
However, it’s fascinating to note that our brain doesn’t just interpret physical danger as a threat. It also senses danger to our world view and identity as threatening as well.
So when you end up in an ideological argument with your Uncle John and your pulse starts racing and your heart starts pumping, your brain is saying…
DANGER, THREAT, ATTACK!!
This is why we react so aggressively to information or people that might threaten our perspective and possibly prove us wrong.
WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
In order to get someone to consider our facts, we have to first prevent their brain from seeing us as a personal threat. How?
By focusing on what we might have in common.
If we are from a different “tribe” (first shift vs. second shift, production vs. engineering, management vs. plant workers, women vs. men, etc.) we are already suspect and will have very little chance of changing someone’s mind.
Reminding them of what we have in common (we’re both parents, we both want the company to succeed, we both hate the Patriots, etc.) can put us back in the same camp.
One of the first things I do with a coaching client is agree with as much of their point of view as I can (I can’t agree with all of it because, well, then why would I be there?) because most of the time, I can see and empathize with where they are coming from.
From there, trust can get built to where they can then hear a different point of view.
~The DISC Wizard
